


Missing

by Shift7



Series: Ineffable Bureaucracy [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Multi, good omens - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-29 23:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19840306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shift7/pseuds/Shift7
Summary: "Ah, Michael." Beelzebub said with false enthusiasm, "I'd hoped I'd never have to speak to you again for the rezzt of eternity.""Beelzebub," The voice on the other end of the line responded curtly. "Pleasure.""I assure you itzz not." Their tone fell, "Therezz absolutely no reason for you to call unlezz you need something. What do you want? I'm working."There was a pause on the other end of the line. "This is quite embarrassing actually but," Another pause. "We can't seem to locate Gabriel anywhere."





	Missing

A phone rang from under a pile of papers. Shuffling them around, Beelzebub picked it up and looked down at the caller ID. They frowned as they begrudgingly hit the Accept Call button.

"Ah, Michael." Beelzebub said with false enthusiasm, "I'd hoped I'd never have to speak to you again for the rezzt of eternity."

"Beelzebub," The voice on the other end of the line responded curtly. "Pleasure."

"I assure you itzz not." Their tone fell, "Therezz absolutely no reason for you to call unlezz you need something. What do you want? I'm working."

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "This is quite embarrassing actually but," Another pause. "We can't seem to locate Gabriel anywhere."

"Oh _,_ " Beelzebub buzzed curiously, "You don't say."

They heard Michael sigh, "It's incredibly rare for anyone to just go dark and since / **ahem/** _the event_. We're doing our best to keep our personnel more closely accounted for as I'm sure you are as well."

"Naturally."

"As it turns out, our celestial tracking doesn't reach downstairs so we're left at this impasse..."

Beelzebub snickered, "You're not trying to imply that your people upstaizz think that idiot wandered into Hell and went off the grid on hizz own, are you?"

There was a silence. "...We're exploring possibilities."

"Well that izz _rich_ . However," They leaned back in their desk chair, "I can assure you no Angel would be able enter or leave Hell without my exprezz knowledge _and_ permizzion. I'd know if he were here."

"I see." Another silence. "Well then. Cheers." And the line went dead.

Beelzebub put the phone down on their desk and swiveled around. 

"I had no idea you and Michael talked." Gabriel said now that they were facing him, amused about that fact more than anything.

"Every so often. Itzz awful." 

"It usually is."

"I really can't believe you came here and didn't think about the potential of setting off Heavenzz 'an Angel izz missing' alarm."

"I'm an Archangel," Gabriel said defensively, "I really didn't think anyone would check." 

"Idiot," Beelzebub mocked. "Good luck explaining that one without lying." 

Gabriel deflated a little at that, realizing how that future conversation was likely to go, "Maybe you're right. I guess I should head out sooner rather than later before this escalates."

He stood there for a moment and looked upward, waiting for something to happen. It didn't. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Something's wrong. There's definitely a barrier here."

"Well it's azz I said," Beelzebub responded cooly, standing up to tidy the files that were scattered around their desk. ''No Angel enterzz or leavezz without my exprezz knowledge and permizzion."

Gabriel looked at them like he couldn't possibly understand what they meant. After a long moment, the situation dawned on him, "That's evil."

"I'm a _Demon_."

"Still." He frowned, "Well then how am I supposed to get back."

Beelzebub gestured to their office door, "We have a lift somewhere."

Gabriel balked, "There are corridors _full_ of Demons here, you can't possibly expect me too--"

"It wazz your idea to visit." They cut him off. "You popped down here voluntarily; you should have considered the riskzz."

Gabriel gave a look which meant he hadn't. Beelzebub rolled their eyes.

"Aren't you suppozzed to be an _Archangel_ ? You'd probably only get ripped limb from limb a _little_ bit."

Gabriel cautiously opened the door and peeked outside. Surprisingly, there was no one to be seen. He swung the door the rest of the way open, relieved at this bit of luck. Before he took his first step out, a different thought crossed his mind.

"Actually." He spun back around, "Since you have a direct line to upstairs already, give me your contact. It will make scheduling our next meeting eons easier, maybe we could work it out so you could come _up_ next time."

"Absolutely not." They said flatly, taking a step forward, pushing him backward out of their office, and slamming the door in his face. 

**Author's Note:**

> What Gabriel didn't know was that the day he visited just so happened to be one of the only holidays the entirety of Hell had off. He was able to find his way to the lift only getting horribly lost a few times.
> 
> \--
> 
> Dang Beelz, is that how you spend your days off?


End file.
